Goodbye, Golden.

Today, as I was scrolling through my news feed on Facebook, I saw a post in my neighborhood’s Facebook group. A woman shared a photo of a dog who looked close to death, and said where he was located but that she couldn’t stop to help him. I don’t know what came over me but without even a second thought, I was grabbing all the dog friendly food I could find in my kitchen, and driving to him.

When I arrived, I sincerely thought I was too late. He laid totally lifeless and as I approached him, he didn’t move. But as soon as I called out, “Puppy!” He perked up and looked up at me. My heart sank, his poor eyes were so full of infection that I’m still not certain he could see. I started trying to coax him with food and gain his trust but he was just so skittish. He would let me get about a foot away from him, but quickly retreated as I moved closer. I felt so bad for him, his beautiful fluffy coat was full of dirt, and he was very emaciated. I didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t get him on a leash because he wouldn’t let me near him, and I didn’t want to be too aggressive because we were on the side of a busy road and I feared he would get hit by a car.

Another good Samaritan saw the Facebook post, and came to help but it was no use. We weren’t professionals, and all of our best attempts only seemed to scare him even more. So we agreed it was best to call animal control. By the time they came for him, several hours later, the sweet dog had passed away.

I’m not sure why, but he wrecked my heart. I wanted so badly to save him. I wanted to get him out of there, bathe him, and save him.

And as different as these two events are, it brings up so many of the things I felt when we lost Aria. At the core, they are both two souls in sickly bodies that I just could not save. It’s a really tough thing to process both mentally and emotionally.

But recently, I made the decision to stop guarding my heart so fiercely. Instead I opted to love as freely as I could because even when I face heartbreak, I never regret the love I gave.

So to that sweet golden dog who let me love him for such a brief moment, thank you. I sincerely hope you’re roaming green pastures somewhere.

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