Where she would be

As I write this, I’m sitting on a chair in our backyard on a beautiful, warm, sunny Saturday afternoon. My husband is standing on the patio, listening to country music as he gets the grill ready for a big batch of chicken wings. Our dog, Lana is laying in the shade and chewing on her favorite toy. I love how content she looks. She really loves being outside.

As I sit here, I feel a calm moving through me. I’m happy. I’m grateful. I’m a little content too.

But my eyes are drawn to a corner of our yard, where I feel very strongly that a black haired, thirteen month old little girl would be. I can almost see her walking around, picking up leaves, and laughing at Lana as she runs around with her toy. Oh, how sweet that laugh would be. Dear Lord, can you play it just once for me?

Man, I wish she was here. If only.

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An Emergency Vet Visit

Our dog, Lana gave us the biggest scare last night.

We usually keep a fluffy blanket in her crate so she has something soft to lay on. But when I took the blanket out to wash it, I decided to lay a towel in there so she didn’t have to lay on the hard floor. Without us realizing, she decided to shred off a piece of the towel and swallow it.

As soon as I took her out to go potty last night I knew something was wrong with her but I couldn’t figure it out. Once we got to the porch and under a light, I realized she was trying to pass the towel, but it was stuck causing her a lot of stress and discomfort. Thank goodness we knew not to try to pull on it, and we immediately rushed her to the vet.

I cried the entire way to the animal hospital. I kept hearing Brian repeat that she was going to be fine, and it was giving me intense flashbacks of him saying our daughter, Aria was going to be fine. Aria wasn’t fine, and I was so afraid Lana wouldn’t be either. I knew eating things like this could cause her intestines to twist, which is a serious problem, and I couldn’t keep that fear out of my mind. I was so afraid we were going to lose Lana too.

Once we got to the vet, they gave her a sedative to calm her. Thankfully, it caused her entire body to relax and she immediately passed the towel on her own. The x rays showed her bowels were now clear, and Lana really was going to be ok.

As soon as the vet left the room, I turned to Brian with tears in my eyes and said “Lana is going to be fine… I just wish Aria had been fine too.” Grief and loss are so intricately woven into every experience I have on this earth, and it’s so hard to separate these emotions.

But there is one valuable lesson that I learned here: The worst isn’t always going to happen. I was so panicked because I thought if the worst thing happened once before, what was going to stop it from happening again? So while I wish Lana never ate that towel in the first place, I am so glad she’s fine, and I’m grateful that she taught me life has the ability to be even brighter than I realized.

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